Our Tainted Hearts part 2

A.n: Excuse for mistakes

All I knew from the rest of my life was I have never had any chilhood friends. My parents didn't allow me to make friends in my neigborhood. I believed if my parents hit me they would never knock my head down. The conclusion was I didn't have any record of amnesia or stuff that related to it. However I stil wasn't able to figure out who this guy was. Something that made me very stuck was his hug. The warmth that he radiated through my tremble body was just like how I used to feel. I hated my self for having a short memorizing system. My life was too miserable and complicated. I gave up and I didn't know this guy I told myself.

"Can you put me dowm please! I'm not a potato sack which easily can be lifted by a total stanger!" I protested.

He put me down and set his eyes on mine like a lion pry it prey and ready to tore it apart. I tried hard to catch my breath while this guy still landing his eyes on mine not moving even an inch. I snapped my finger.

"Are you trying to hypnotize me?" I demanded.
"You still don't remember me?" He asked with a pity face.
"No, I don't. I don't even know who you are , how am i supposed to remember you."
"Rebel Allison Willis the most individual girl in 7th grade or high school." He added.
"Stop calling me that ,nobody wanted to be friend with me that time. Who are you?" I asked him impatiently.
"You pissed in your pants when Mrs. Norman asked you to move your seat forward and I was the one who defended you and the one who wanted to sit side by side with you." He clued me.
"I'm sorry I don't take any hint. Just reveal your self already."
"Its me Luca. Luca Andres Morello." He put his hands in my body and shake me back and forth.

I couldn't believe in my eyes. I still didn't recall who this guy was. I didn't even remember my 7th grade memories even a single piece. Confused, afraid, and mad mixed into one in my brain. What had happened to me? Why did I so miserable? Had I forgotten all the kindness people have given to me? The heat reached my eyes making a stream down to my cheeks. I blamed myself for everything. My dad was right that I am his ungrateful daughter. My feet weaken making me down on my knees and cried.

"Rebel why are you crying? You okay?" He knelt down carresing my hair.
"I'm not okay at all. I don't remember who you are or the memories. I'm very sorry." I sobbed
"Rebel its okay. Don't cry dolcezza. I will help you remember me. I'm sorry for leaving you." He helped me standing.
"Leaving me? What do you mean?" I braced my self to face him.
"Its a long story Rebel. You'll be very mad at me if I told you why I left you." He turned away from my cry face.
"I have much time to be spent. If you tell me the story I promise I won't judge you olny from my point of view. I promise." I convinced him.
"I will tell you later Rebel. You have school. If I tell you right now you'll be very late."
"Its okay if I absent today. Nobody will be looking for me anyway."
"Your teacher will call your parents and you'll get beaten at home. I won't let that happen to you."
"You know everything about me?" I asked curiously.
"Not everything. Sooner or later I'll know you more than anyone else even more than your parents." He caressed my pink cheek.
"You promised. Meet me at the town park at 6 pm down the tree near by the swings. I'll be waiting for you." I told him.
"I'll be there dolcezza. Now go. I'll see you later." He kissed his good by to me.
"I'll see you later Luca. Good bye." I waved my hand and left him behind.
He stood still as he watching me leaving. I ran as fast I could wishing I wouldn't be late. If I enjoyed walking and imagining his green eyes on my way I would have late for school. I walked through the corridor. All eyes were on me. They saw me weirdly as usual and they whispered to each other. My eyes were swollen because of crying and my cheek was red because my dad slapped me. What a same old story. It repeated the same everyday. Nothing changed. The charachters were the same me, father, and mother. I hoped the author gave more characters , so my life would be more readable. School was just the same. Assigments, annoying friends and teachers who just pretended to care. All I did the the rest of the day was imagining Luca's face especially his eyes. I almost lost in his eyes. They were hypnotizing me. I couldn't wait any longer seeing his face. I meant his explanation. The bell home rang all the students gushed out of their desk. I had waited for so long the bell home rang it driving me crazy. It was 4 pm in the afternoon. I went to the locker room and put all books in.

"I hope you can make it till tommorow Rebel. I always send my prayer to you hope that your parent will not beat you pumpkin." Sarah and her play toys made fun of me. They bursted of laughing.

Have I mentioned that my life was perfect? Ruined parents and famous bully were included in my life. My famous bully was Sarah Marie Petterson. She was the captain cheerleader of Maryland Senior High School the place where I had to get education. She was blonde haired girl with striking blue eyes. She used her femme fatale to use all the boys and made them as her boy toys. What a pathetic life. All she did was demanding for fame and sabotaging every girl who tried to step her forward.

"Thank you Sarah. I hope it goes back to you." I answered her and left her like she didn't exist. I didn't care about my parents later at home or the pathetic Sarah. All I cared was Luca. I was thirsty of his explanation and hope that he would drink me a galon of explanation that could end my misery. I rushed out home.

"Mom? Dad? Are you guys home?" I called as I unlocking the door.
"You're dad is gone." My mom answered holding a bottle of Hennesey.
"Can you please stop drinking! This house is a mess. No different than a pig cage." I demanded.
"Its your job to clean it sweety." My Mom answered with her drunk face. She fell to the floor. What a perfect mother I ever had. I helped her standing and led her to the couch. I took the Hennesey and threw it on the bin. She fell asleep on the couch. Wringkles spread on her restless face and freckless chose to stay in her pale complexion. She slept soundless and peacely. I always love her for who she was and who she has been. My loved for her has never changed and will never be changed.

I ran upstairs to my bed room. I took all my clothes off and tossed it on the floor. I picked my towel and wrapped it around my body. I turned the shower on. I hit the shower and it felt so relief. Warm water hit my skin perfectly. I flexed all my muscles while washing my body. After finished showering I put my underwear, my sweatpant and shirt on. I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail. I couldn't wait any longer for Luca. I picked the key of my car and drove out to the park.
When I arrived, the park wasn't so crowded. Just few of childern playing throw and catch with their parents. I aimed to the tree. It was five thirty. Luca hadn't been there. I sat under the tree waiting for him to come. I fell aslepp.

"Rebel you awake?" A soft voice woke me from my sleep.
"I'm awake." I let out moan and yawning.
"It is dangerous for a gorgeous girl sleeping alone in the park." He smiled gorgeously.
"I'm sorry. I was so tired." I fixed my clothes.

"I'm sorry too for making you waiting." He helped me standing and we walked to the swings

We sat on the swings. The sky was so clear and blue but it wasn't so hot. The September wind breezed through my small body. It sent me goosebumps. I was ready to hear his story why he left me. I wouldn't blame him for what had happened. I would alter my ego. Worry drawn on his face. My little heart told me he was ready.

"You ready to hear the story? He asked me worryly.
"You ready to tell me the story right?" I questioned back.
"I'm ready." He smiled to me.
"We both ready. Take my time as much as you need." I smiled back.

Our Tainted Hearts part 1

South side of the town was the place where I was raised. Where old trucks were parked and shoes were hung in the electric pole. In my 15 I have taken care of my ruined family. Parent was the least thing I wanted to call them.They have never tasted me luxes. Still felt grateful for my alcholic mother and abusive father. They beated me everytime they saw me. But still, I loved all the bruises they have given to me. Blaring country music was all I had for every single morning and something stupid to bickered off when the sun set in the west. No tears were remained in my blue eyes. They said my eyes were trying to hypnotize every single person who trying to take a glance to them. I realised that my eyes just hypnotized my parent to beat me and friends to bully me. They said I was beautiful. Beautifully beaten and bullied. I prayed every single night to God so he could put my disturbing friends to hell and waited His holy redemption to bring my sinful parents to the right way so they could see the light and stop beating their only daughter.

"What takes you so long to answer my damn question Rebel?" He yelled.
"Do I have to use speaker every single time I call or ask you? Did you lose your hearing huh?" He added.

They called me Rebel. Such a rebelious name for a silky straight brown haired girl with a birth mark in the back of her neck who barely reach 5'2 ft. Rebel Allison Willis was writen in my birth certificate. I turned 18 a month ago. My parents named me after a hooligan ended in my town. They used to tell me that my name brought hopes. Hope just hope. Hopes were empty if you never put faith in them. False hope just like my parents. No one else to be blamed. I got bullied in school because my low self esteem and my parents didn't raise me right like other child did.
My mom left at night and back in early morning to get a long sleep so her body fueled by energy and back to the club to drink more liquor. My mother has never been a right mother. Her mariage drove her crazy. She found my father cheated with her friends when a party was thrown in my house. Since then she turned into an alcholic and a careless mother.

"My hearing is just fine and I have no freaking idea where you put your cigars! It is no use to touch your damned stuff even throwing it away! lower your voice because it is eight am in the morning you're disturbing the neighbors!" I yelled even louder.
"Suck it off Rebel! You such a big fat liar!" He tried to defense himself.
"I don't know where your cigars are and I didn't throw it away. You should ask your alcholic and iresponsible wife where she put your dammned stuff!" I snorted.

A palm of hand landed on my right cheek left a print of hand in it. My eyes were gleaming but no single tears dropped in my cheek. My heart wasn't pacing back and forth like the first time my dad hit me. I was ready to kick his gut off but I just left him standing. I picked my bag and stormed out of my house.

"Where the hell are you going ungrateful Rebel?" He asked
"To school. Do you get an amnesia too?" I answered.
"You such an ugrateful daugh.."

Before he finished his word I cut him first.

"I'm leaving and take care of your stupid things by yourself." I slammed the door and left the house.

I was prepared to get beat after school. I couldn't even care how bad my father beat me later. New day new fresh bruises. I left the house carresing my cheek so the print wasn't seen later when I arrived in school. I tried to focus on where I step my feet into. Suddenly a big body running through mine made me tripped over my way.

"Are you okay? Let me help you standing" a low but masculine voice reached my little ears.
"I'm fine I can wake on my own" I tried to hold my gruge.
"Next time please watch your step!" I slowly rose from the ground and cleaning my knee.
"I'm sorry. I'll watch my step next time. Probably you should also watch your step too lady." He added.

I rose from the ground. I faced a man who his body hit me. I startled because a nice built body was standing right in front of me. His biceps bulged out of his shirt. After took a little look of his body I turned my head up to see his face. I barely closed my mouth. He's so breathtaking. Was he lost his way to a photoshoot?. His eyes were green where every women could lost in it. His hair was so rich with dirty brown with slight blonde colored. His skin was so well tanned. His jawline was so chisheled and sharp which could cut a silk and also gifted with full lips which unbearlable not to kiss them. He looked like in his twenty. I thought he was a Calvin Klein model or somekind of angel who fell from heaven.

"Did you enjoy the view?" His flirt broke the silence.
"I can barely call it a view." I lied.

What a steep sarcasm. I put my disgusting face on him. He examined me from the tip to toe. But his eyes landed on my right cheek, noticed how red my cheek was. He tried to put his hand on my cheek but I deflected it.

"Are you okay? Did someone slap your face?" He asked eagerly.
"I'm a hundred percent fine. Can you please get out my way ? Im very late to school." I answered with high voice.
"I'm sorry for asking dolcezza." He answered and took a deep look to my face like he had met me before.

I walked leave him behind. I just didn't care about anyting else. My problems in home were enough to stressed me out. I didn't want to tally any problems with a hot stranger who hit me in the middle of the road.

"Dolcezza! Rebel do you remember me?" He sprinted behind me.

I stopped when he called my name. It felt like my heart stuck in my throat. How did this hot stranger know my name. How could I remember him when I didn't even know him. My heart paced and my nerves were ready to send signal to my body to tackle everyone who tried to harm me.

"It is me dolcezza. Rebel I missed you so much!" He hugged me and lifted me of the ground.
"I'm back Rebel." He added.

I frowned when he said he was back. He hugged me as tight as boy's scout rope. It felt so warm. Warm enough to heat my cheek. I blushed like a tomato. I almost hugged him back but I discouraged myself. Why would I hug a stranger.
It was so wrong yet so right. His hug felt so familiar. Who was this guy.... Why he kept calling me dolcezza.

Journal 3

Since the second journal, I’ve learned a lot how to write from gramatically corect to readable blog. The most important thing about blogging is that your posts are interesting to read. The style of writing holds the main role. I’ve read some of my friends’ blogs. Their posts are interesting to read. Their posts really help me to improve my posts too. Many vocabulary I’ve learnt. Some of the vocabularies that I use are from my friends’ posts. I also given shots to comment on my friends posts. So, its really help me to feel confident to write and correct mistakes in my friends’ posts. I need to fix my style of writing so its going to be more interesting to read.  I don’t have any problems in grammar. My grammar it is just fine but sometimes inaccuracy stil happens.

First post that I published in the second semester was about new zodiac. In that post I wrote about something that related previous zodiac and also have relation to human characteristic. I took one of Egyptian gods as my new zodiac. It was Tooth. I described the background of Thoth and the character of Thoth itself. I put lots of effort to write that post.  The case was I didn’t want to copy from existed posts in the other hand I had no idea about Thoth. I found a way out eventually. I read from posts about Thoth that provided in web and I wrote the main and the most stand out character about Thoth. I took notes from every blog I read so it could ease my writing later. Problem solved and I finally could write that zodiac post. 

After that brainstorming post finished I felt relief. Next day after I published that blog a new one coming. This time about  interational cultural event that I attended. I have to recall the memory about that event. In that cultural event post I wrote how the event was from the beginning to the end. I found no problem writing that post. I didn’t take much time like the previous one.

UKWMS International Cultural Festival and Celebration 2016

     International Cultural Festival and Celebration is a yearly event held by Widya Mandala Catholic University. On 8th of April 2016 this cultural event was held. Before we go furthermore about this event , I would like you guys to know what this event actually is. As you guys read from the title of course you guys have already had  thought about several foreign countries. The truth is , it is. So, this event invites representatives from several countries to tell about their beloved countries. Those representatives will tell about many things, such as most visited tourist destinations, scholarships that are given from those countries etc. They also teach the particpans a few of their common spoken word and greetings. This event also invites senior high schoolers from around Surabaya.

    Now, I would like to tell you guys about my experience that I still recall from this event. First of all this event was so awesome and a massive success also my first ever international cultural event. This event was really worthwhile. This cultural event was held on Friday after my writing class. Actually this event was compulsory for second graded students. But many higher graders attended this event. As I told you this event was a massive success. Why I told you guys about this event was a massive success because this cultural event invited 7 countries and mc'ed by UKWMS English Department students Gisella and William that really should be prouded off. Talking about the countries, those countries were China, Belgia, France, Spain, the Netherlands, Germany , and last but not least of course Indonesia. Each country brought out their best representatives. The representatives some of them were Indonesian and some were from their own countries like Germany and Spain. Remo dance was an opening performance. The dancers were English Deparment's students. China was the first country to presentate about what China has and followed by 6 other countries. The Netherlands was the last country to presentate. The participants enjoyed every country presentations. They were pretty excited to the presentation because the representative of every country had already prepared remembrances for every participan who really paid attention and were able to answer their questions. They also showed us videos about their countries. Indonesia brought pecel to be presentated. There was also an Indonesian booth which sold nasi pecel. Everything was so organized and running as smooth as a silk. One thing that really pitied was the committees didn't give us any games so no games were played during the event. But the no game played was paid off by the performances of the dancers and singers. FYI the singer were from the representatives of China. They sang beautifully in Chinese. Even though I didn't know any of the meanings I really liked it because the singers erased the boredom. There was also a salsa dance from Spain. The representatives of Spain taught us a lil bit of salsa and invited us to dance on the stage. This part was actually the best part of this event. Bailando by Enrique Iglesias set on the background and the salsa rocked to the core of the event. Many of the participants joined this dance. They danced passionately and they were really filled by enthusiasm and cheerfulness. I actually forgot who closed this event. But one thing that I really remember is this event gave the rest of participants unforgettable experiences and new knowledges from other countries.
I put really high hopes there will be more similar cultural events coming and also more countries involved.

Thoth (Egyptian's God)

Thoth depicted as a man with the head of an ibis or a baboon. He is shown holding a sort of stationery and wands.
In another version, Thoth is also depicted as an ape with a dog's head. These wise god known plays an important role in various battles and other events in Egyptian myth. An interesting thing about Thoth was that he was a god who created himself. In his modesty he provided many indigenous ideas. His ideas inspire his adherents to empower them to build and learn new things. Thoth clear-mindedness fades away indolence and patient less attitude. Thoth's instructions induce and invent people to take risk and breaking the tradition. Thoth comes to us as a well natured memory. His best is expressing the dependable truth of creative words which he repeats endlessly to all beings that brings prosperousness to his followers.

Positive traits:
People who were born under the sign of Thoth are enthusiastic and full of energy. They will put their goals ahead. They will never set a new goal if their past goal has not pursued yet.They are dauntless typed of person and like to challenge risks. Breaking the rules is a common attitude god sign Thoth will do. They are honest and have good memories. It is unlikely that they will cheat or breaking promises. People under this sign love sharing. They will put their best to help others in need. They attracted with people who have same value as them. These people are full of love. Once they are comfortable with each other will likely become a family.
Because of their passion and creativity,these people are not afraid of criticism. They will always improve. They hardly settled in mediocre circumstances. God signs Thoth are considered as natural born leaders. However, they still need partner to keep their spirit above. These people are mostly extroverted person. They love interacting with others or new people.

Negative traits:
There are also situations that god signs Thoth can be very impatient and hasty to their decision making. They want to achieve their goals as quickly as possible using shortcut or the easiest path and less considering about how worse the outcome latter will be. They have difficult time dealing with betrayal. Once they betrayed they will never put their trust at the same place again. Honesty and originality are their important views. If they entered tough situations they will solidly close their mind. This may cause stubbornness and it will be hard for others to influence this sign judgments and decisions. They likely to inadvertently sabotage their efforts for instant success.

Thoth symbolism:
Thoth sign lucky color is rose for men and white for women. This Egyptian god is compatible with Bastet and Isis. The sacred animal for this sign is baboon and ibis. Element of this god sign is air. People under will be more success full as a lawyer,teacher and an entrepreneur.